Self Space therapist and owner Rachel Lund recently wrote an article for Kirkland Lifestyle Magazine about how to handle the potentially difficult conversations conversations with family members that might arise over the holidays.

From “Navigating Holiday Conversations with Grace” in Kirkland Lifestyle Magazine by Rachel Lund

The holidays are meant to be a time of joy, togetherness, and connection—but let’s be real, they can also bring stress, especially when we’re navigating tough conversations with loved ones who hold differing opinions. Throw an election year into the mix, and it’s easy to see why many of us feel anxious about gathering around the dinner table.

As a mental health counselor, I believe in the power of vulnerability and courage when it comes to communication, especially during the holidays. Here are some strategies to help keep conversations respectful and grounded in connection, even when opinions clash.

1. Set Clear, Kind Boundaries
Before your holiday gathering, it’s okay to kindly express that you’d prefer not to talk about politics. You might say something like, “I really want this time together to be about connecting, and when we talk about politics I can start to feel less connected. Can we agree to focus on enjoying each other’s company?” 

2. Get Curious, Not Defensive
When a political conversation pops up, and it likely will, try to stay curious instead of jumping into defense mode. Ask questions with the goal of understanding where the other person is coming from. Curiosity doesn’t require agreement—it just requires a little humility. It’s about saying, “Tell me more about why this matters to you.” This helps create a space for dialogue instead of debate.

3. Know When to Step Away
There’s no shame in bowing out of a conversation that’s becoming too intense or emotional. Pay attention to your body’s cues—racing heart, shallow breathing, tense muscles—and take a break if needed. Politely excuse yourself for a breather or a change in topic. It’s a brave act of self-care to protect your peace, and is good for the whole family.