The holidays are quickly approaching, and while that makes some people run to throw on their favorite holiday sweater and fill their cups up with eggnog, it can make others want to fast forward to January. While this season can be a time filled with joy and making new memories with family and friends, it can also be a source of anxiety and dread. The holidays can be particularly  challenging for those struggling with eating disorders, as family gatherings are typically centered around sharing meals together. The foods our friends and families share connect us to our traditions, culture, and loved ones, yet it can be difficult to break away from what diet culture tells us is “okay.”  Whether you are struggling with an eating disorder, or suspect a loved one might be, it is important to consider how to best navigate this upcoming season. 

An eating disorder doesn’t look the same for everyone, and it is valuable to recognize signs that you or someone you love may be struggling with disordered eating habits. 

Some signs include:

• Feeling guilty about eating certain foods

• Only eating during certain times of day

• Strict food rules and exercise patterns

• Tracking and counting calories

• Struggling to eat in front of others

What do I do if I am struggling with an eating disorder?

Create a Support System. Reaching out to family and friends who care about you is a monumental step to take when struggling with an eating disorder. While this can be intimidating and scary, your support system wants to be there to help you through whatever you are struggling with. In addition to talking with family and friends, contacting a trained mental health professional is a great step to take towards recovery as well. Having a team of individuals surrounding you and supporting you during this challenging time can be incredibly beneficial.

Self Care. Gatherings can be overwhelming and triggering, so it is important for you to take time for yourself during this season. Practice self-care and be intentional about having time to unwind. Recovery is not linear, and things will not always go perfectly, so be kind and gentle with yourself. Make it a priority to do things that make you feel good and that bring peace and joy into your life. 

Make a Plan. Create a plan for when things feel difficult or triggers come up. Having boundaries is a good thing, and you are allowed to hold those boundaries in place to help navigate specific triggers and conversations. If conversations do arise around weight or other triggers, saying “I don’t want to talk about this right now” and changing the subject or removing yourself from the situation is perfectly acceptable. Making a plan around your boundaries helps to protect yourself from harmful conversations. Oftentimes foods that cause extra anxiety, or “fear foods,” are served during the holidays. Giving yourself permission to enjoy these foods, as well as having a plan to cope with eating them can help to ease distress. Having short term goals allows for you to manage stress and take this season one day at a time.

Tune Into Your Body. Practicing mindfulness and intuitive eating during meals allows for you to notice what your body is feeling. Take a deep breath before sitting down for a meal to tune into your hunger levels, and honor your body’s cues for hunger and satiety. Remember, your body knows what to do with the food you are eating. You are fueling your body and providing it with nutrients so you are able to approach the holiday season with energy. 

Positive Self-Talk. It can be easy to slip into a negative state of mind when feeling overwhelmed by your eating disorder, but positive self-talk is a powerful tool to help combat negative thoughts. When moments of heightened anxiety occur, using mantras such as “I choose to find freedom from my eating disorder, and it starts by enjoying this piece of pie” can help to reframe our thoughts towards recovery. 

How can I support someone I love who is struggling with an eating disorder

Listen. Providing space and time to listen when your loved one opens up about their struggle allows for meaningful conversations to take place. There can be a lot of shame and guilt around eating disorders, and providing space for them to share what they need is more impactful than you may realize. You won’t have all of the answers, but making space for their feelings allows them to share where they’re at in their recovery journey.

Avoid Diet Talk. Stay away from talking about diets, weight loss or gain, and don’t make comments about the way your loved one looks. 

No “Bad” Foods. Don’t place labels on particular food groups. There are not “good” or “bad” foods, so avoid putting certain types of food into these categories. For example, making a remark such as “I’ll pass on dessert, I’m trying to eat healthy” can add to the stigmas around what is considered “okay” to eat in diet culture, and can steal the joy away from eating something yummy. 

Encourage Them to Seek Out Help. If you are noticing signs of a potential eating disorder, bring this up in a direct and compassionate way. Make sure that the conversation is coming from a place of love and genuine concern, and let them know that you are there to support them through the journey. While they may shy away from disclosing everything that they are dealing with, you are opening up the door for them to be able to talk about this with you in the future.

Recovery is an active choice that is made every day. While we are told the holiday season is the most wonderful time of year, the reality is that sometimes it can feel like the exact opposite. This journey can be extremely challenging at times, but reaching out for support is the first step towards healing. Learning to trust your body, and fighting against harmful thoughts are a part of a process that takes time. However, taking control of your eating disorder is possible, as you deserve to live a recovered, fulfilled, and joyful life.

For more information about eating disorder please visit https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

See Related: Home for the Holidays